was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
