i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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