Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
