Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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