Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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