dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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