She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
