butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
