yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize