after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
