found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
