What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
