i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
