so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
