I think im going to throw up on grandma
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
