The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
