I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
