i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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