i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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