hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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