I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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