big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
