If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
