have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
