I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
