I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
