READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
