and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
