she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize