North Korea, Best Korea!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
