your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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