then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
