I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
