you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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