Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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