I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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