I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Farmville is her only friend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
