Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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