I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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