so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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