i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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