are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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