have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
