Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
