a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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