we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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