ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
foreskin is a definite game changer
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
