look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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