I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
