There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
