you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize