Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
