I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
