He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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