Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
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The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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