Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
