i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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