how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
