Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
