Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
