i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
