In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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