did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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