omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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