32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
