party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
