Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Are we still banned from the library?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
