i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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