What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
